Tim Stevens tells the following story in his
article about not giving up on the church:
Last
week my friends, Jack and Molly, poured out their hearts to me about
their church experience. They love their church in Ohio. They have been
there for more than ten years now and are involved up to their
eyeballs. Jack is a deacon and helps with some of the worship arts.
Molly has been on the praise team and volunteers as she is able. They
love their pastor and want to support him, but sadly, they would never
think of inviting a friend. Not again.
They gave it a shot once. A few months ago, Molly invited a friend
from her workplace to church. This was a close friend, and they knew
she would be honest about her experience. During the entire service,
Molly was wincing. She was more keenly aware than ever that the music
was bad, the message was completely irrelevant, and it was all
excessively long. When she asked her friend a few days later what she
thought, the answer came back, "Molly, your church sucks." It was crass
and was hard to hear, but Molly knew she was right.
A lot of churches know this, but they keep doing what is
comfortable...what they enjoy. It is just too painful to diagnose what
is not working, so the leaders continue to focus on the areas (such as
fellowship, worship, or Bible study) they find easier to accomplish.
Oh, they still pray for their unchurched friends. They want them to
meet Jesus, but they have no idea how that might happen. Unfortunately,
over time, as their Christian community becomes more ingrown, the chasm
between their "lost" friends and them grows larger and larger.
Is that what Jesus had in mind when He dreamed up this thing called
the church? When He came to earth to give His very life so that we
might experience His love and grace, do you suppose He pictured
churches where the people He died to save would feel like outsiders?
Read more...
Stevens definitely strikes a chord with us, doesn't he? How many of you would cringe during the service like Molly did? Does your church suck? It's a question worth asking. Here's a better one: Why do you go to a church that sucks? Moreover, why aren't you doing something about it?
This is the sad reality of many Christians - they know that the system is broken, but for one reason or another, they feel helpless to fix it. Each week, they drag themselves to church, push back the creeping cynicism, internally chastise themselves for being so critical, sing through a few half-hearted songs, doze off to sleep during the sermon, and then coffee and donuts after the service. Rinse and repeat.
If such is the case for you, I want to share some good news with you - you're the church. That's right: you. Not your pastor. Not the worship leader. Not the deacons who, for some crazy reason, often function as ushers for helping old ladies to their favorite pews. So, in a certain sense, saying that your church sucks is a self-indictment, no?
I believe two things about the church:
1) The Church is people, so you can't really "walk away" from it, can you? Unless you become a hermit and never spend time with another Christian again. Even then, I would wonder how you might "walk away" from your new DNA as part of the family of God.
2) The Church is mostly for believers, so don't get disappointed when you bring your unsaved friends and they don't react how you want them to. That's called an "attractional model" of church (some may refer to it as "
seeker-friendly"), and although many megachurches employ it, it's not biblical. Moreover, it doesn't really work. Even Bill Hybels
admitted that.
Where in the New Testament do you see the disciples trying to get unbelievers into their building so that then they can get saved and become real Christians? It doesn't happen. Rather, the biblical model is what's called an "
incarnational" or "
missional model" of church. That is, church is for the fellowship of the saints, for God's people to be equipped and go out into the world to make disciples. Read Acts if you don't believe me.
For more, read my friend Joe's
short blog about "little 'c' versus big 'C'". Also, Seth Barnes wrote a great blog on an explanation Ron Walborn once offered a student about
incarnational church.
I love this subject because its relevant and impactfull.
After reading Jack and Molly's story this is the typical love/hate church relationship. Alot of people have had and will have this same issue..
"music was bad
message was completely irrelevant and it was all excessively long"
so this is important to get this right. Good advise for the couple...start running away from that church now. Read what jesus and the bible says about churches like these. Worship should not be painful and if it is embarrassing to you personally and spiritually get the heck away from it.
If a church, not THE church (Churches are the identified with the body of Christ), but a specific church, is not giving you want you want get out of it. Don't look back. Why sacrifice your spirituality? You can maintain your relationship with the people you love there and still be ok. If they ask why you left. Tell them the truth. They probably have been waiting for someone else to say something before they did.
The pastor/preacher is responsible for the message, music and services. He can delegate this but ultimately its his to use for the benefit of the church members. Not Him or his staff.
Your church and your pastor are there to serve.
If you are overloaded with responsibilities and God's work then off load some of that and un-volunteer yourself when and where you can.
Good Luck in your journey! At the end of the day you have to ask WWJD? How would he react? Don't believe for one second that he (JC) would react in a meek and calm way. He would be furious, upset with the pastor and pastoral staff. The blind leading the blind.
No. But I have been in 2 or 3 other churches that i have left for this same reason. My current church...I have been there 2 years. Good Blog! Great subject!
Hey, I just read some of the posts on Frank Viola's blog, and in one post he says:
"I have never given up on the church. In fact, I profoundly love the church and am a functioning member within her body. It’s the institutional system that I’ve given up on and for good reason."
I believe we can "walk away" from the system w/o "walking away" from the Church, Christians, and new DNA.
Hence, when we read 1 Cor. 14, it seems to support the "seeker-friendly church" if it is read out of the context of the New Testament an unbeliever coming to a gathering of believers and accepts that God is among the believers.
But the Church is not a meeting. It is people who live 24/7 in the context of their communities. It is their lives together seen and experienced by their communities that speaks out like a letter written not with ink, as Paul wrote. The believer's lives together, their love for each other, and their unity is the Gospel incarnate 24/7 that convinces their communities that Jesus is the Sent One (Jn 17.21; 13.35).
Marketing your church is not the same as spreading the Gospel. It doesn't even come close to fulfilling our mandate to "disciple all nations."
http://www.leadingsmart.com/leadingsmart/2008/10/is-the-church-a.html
"On Taking People Hostile to Your Beliefs to a Celebration of Said Beliefs, and Then Expecting Them to Convert":
http://bootsandbibles.typepad.com/boots_and_bibles/2008/09/on-taking-people-hostile-to-your-beliefs-to-a-celebration-of-said-beliefs-and-then-expecting-them-to-convert.html
Steve
Team Jesus
Of course, more people have probably read yours.
http://bootsandbibles.typepad.com/boots_and_bibles/2008/09/on-taking-people-hostile-to-your-beliefs-to-a-celebration-of-said-beliefs-and-then-expecting-them-to-convert.html
I don't want to brag to much, but I know I'm at Mid-Cities Community Church for a purpose and I Iove doing life with this body of believers!
Just because it's teh intartwebs, doesn't mean we aren't experiencing something of Christian community.
...
Upping our Google rankings doesn't hurt, either. :-x
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