Pilgrimage of the Heart - A Blog by Jeff Goins

2011 Year-End Ministry Update & Final Opportunity to Give a Year-End Gift

Sat, 31 Dec 2011 00:00:00 GMT

We moved into a new house in July. There are still boxes to be unpacked and Christmas decorations to be hung. But we have a home. Our dog Lyric has a yard in which to play, and we have a place to live out the life God has blessed us with.

Transitions & Trips Abroad

This past year has been a year of unimaginable blessings. In a lot of ways, we are living out our dreams.

Last November, Ashley got to move out of accounting and started working directly with a record label. I started pursuing my writing more seriously, thanks to some friends and personal coaching I was receiving.

Our old church disbanded, but we were fortunate enough to land in a new community just a couple miles down the road from our new home.

(By the way, we are living across the street from our good friends Chuck and Sue. They have already given us way too much stuff. We're not complaining, though.)

Over the summer, I was able to travel out of the country twice.

Once was with my friend Dustin, when we both led an mission trip to Puerto Rico.

The other was with Ashley and her family to Ireland for vacation. Both were incredibly refreshing and rejuvenating.

Then, this fall, I signed my first book contract. I'll share more on that soon, but the book should be coming out next September/October if all goes according to plan. I'll be sharing stories from my time working in missions, as well as those of others who have been wrecked for the ordinary.

Yes, it seems we are living our dreams — at least the ones God has given us for this season.

New at AIM

Even my job at AIM has changed and moved more in the direction of dreaming. Currently, I am the interim leader of a new program called Kingdom Dreams (which you can find out more about at kingdom-dreams.org).

The goal of our new startup department is to help people coming home from a short-term missions experience transition into the rest of life. Also, we help people discover their passions and step into their ministry dreams.

For example, one such person who has gone through our program is Ryan Bodine. Ryan was being discipled by my coworker Neil when he brought up the fact that he felt called to start an orphanage in Africa.

The problem was Ryan didn't have any experience working in an orphanage. So how could he start one? Neil told him to serve someone else's dream for a season, which is something our ministry believes strongly in. Before God will trust you with your own dream, he wants to see you prove yourself a faithful steward.

Neil told Ryan to go to the Philippines for the summer and work with a ministry partner of ours. And he did just that.

Recently, Ryan returned from his overseas adventure, more fully alive and excited about the experience he had received from his apprenticeship. He is now working with the Kenya Initiative team at the AIM office, once again learning and serving his way into his destiny.

What’s Next

Stories like Ryan's excite me, because they tells me there is hope for a generation of Christ-followers that goes beyond mere entertainment and narcissism. That they long to be filled with purpose and challenged to pursue God.

In January, my team and I will be hosting over a hundred young missionaries who have recently come off the field for a week-long conference. We will be helping them process what they’ve experienced and how to prepare for the next season in life.

God continues to grow our influence and my passion for helping my generation to understand what it means to step into their calling.

This next year will be full of new adventures and exciting opportunities, and I’m excited to have you partner with me once again. Thank you for your friendship, prayers, and generosity. If you’d like to give a year-end gift, you can do so by clicking here. (The link will take you to a page where you can mail a check or give online via credit or debit card.)

Thanks!

Jeff & Ashley

P.S. If you give before the end of the year (I know there's notmuch time) and email me your receipt (at jeffgoins@adventures.org), I'll email you a free copy my new eBook of stories. You can make a year-end, tax-deductible donation here.

P.PS. For more updates on us, read our Christmas letter.

Get a FREE Copy of My New eBook When You Make a Year-End Donation

Thu, 22 Dec 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Want a free copy of my new eBook?

All you have to do is support my mission work, and I'll send you one.

The book is called Dirty Redemption: Stories of Unexpected Grace Found in Unlikely Places.

It’s a collection of 10, short stories about faith, brokenness, and hope.

The book is 10,000 words of my favorite tales I've experienced on the streets of Nashville and abroad.

(If you've been reading this blog for the past four years, you may recognize some of them.)

Here's What You Need to Do

Make a donation to my ministry fund before December 31st, 20011 HERE (any amount you want) and then email me through the contact form on this website.

Once I hear from you, I will send you the PDF of the eBook at no charge.

No questions asked, no other payment necessary, no email signups or trickery involved.

Why I’m Asking You to Do This

Our organization (Adventures in Missions) requires the staff to raise a portion of our salaries to help offset the overhead costs of our organization.

Many of you have already support me this year, and if you have, you can be expecting a copy of the eBook in your email inbox soon.

Instead of asking for year-end gifts this year, I thought I'd do something unique. So I wrote a short eBook of stories that describe the work I do with AIM.

Now is a great time to make those year-end donations and still have them count for the 2011 tax year. If you want to know more about what I do for Adventures in Missions, you can read more here.

Get the eBook

Are you ready to get Dirty Redemption? Just do the following before December 31st, 2011:

Donate any amount you like. It can be $5 or $500. Whatever you can give. Click here to make a donation online or to get a mailing address to send a check. (Make sure my name — Jeff Goins — is listed next to “staff member.”)
Email me with the receipt.
Start reading and sharing. Once I send you the eBook, you’re free to share it with anyone you like. You just can’t charge money for it.

This offer expires on December 31st, 2011. If you have any questions, please let me know.

For more about this (including a table of contents) read: Make a Donation, Get a Free eBook (It's that Simple)

One last time, the link to make a tax-deductible donation here.

*Photo credit: Nicola Romagna (Creative Commons)

How God Healed a Man in Nepal & Why It Affected Me

Tue, 6 Dec 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Every week, I get to hear incredible stories of how God is moving in the world. Too many to share, actually.

They remind me that as smart as I am, I only see in part.

They tell me that there is still a lot of mystery left in this world.

Most of all, they help me remember that healing is possible and rescue is coming.

As an example, take this story from Stephanie May, who recently got to pray for a deaf man in Nepal. What happened next was nothing short of miraculous:

This last weekend, the church we're partnering with had a man from Cameroon come and do what they called a Healing Crusade. It was basically a large church gathering where they prayed for healing for a lot of people.

I had never seen anything like this, so I didn't know what to expect.

The first day, I was wandering around taking pictures of all the people, when the speaker asked if anyone wanted to be prayed for and wanted to accept Jesus and become a Christian.

I saw a man sitting on the ground, a large walking stick next to him, clearly unable to walk without an extreme amount of pain, raise his hand, but then after a few moments he put it back down... looking uncertain if he could get up and come to the front.

I stood their for a second arguing as I heard "Go help him!" in my head... and finally I gave in. I walked over to the man, and offered him my hand. He took it, and I helped him up. Bracing himself in between my arm and his walking stick, we slowly made our way to the front, where he accepted Christ and became a Christian.

A few minutes later, the man up front prayed for healing for the man... and I watched him lay down his walking stick and walk back and forth, strength and agility returning to him with each step.

The next day, I was wandering around taking pictures (again), and they invited people up to be prayed for healing. I saw a man being pushed forward by what looked to be his son, but he looked embarrassed and kept shying away, not wanting to go up.

Again, I heard God say, "Go pray for him!"

So I walked up to him and mimed to the best of my ability asking if I could pray for him. Good thing I mimed because not only did he not speak English, but he was deaf.

Having absolutely no idea what I was doing, I placed my hands over his ears and began to pray that God would open his ears.

Every few minutes, the man's entire body would begin to convulse, and so I held his head tighter, praying louder. I prayed for probably twenty minutes, until finally, something happened.

We mimed to him that somebody was going to go behind him and clap and that he was to copy whatever clap he heard.

Someone went a good eight feet behind him and clapped... the man clapped. (I looked around accusingly at the group that was circling us to make sure they didn't cheat and help him.) The person behind him clapped three times... and the man clapped three times.

He could hear.

God healed a completely deaf man... and I was the one who got to pray for him. I got to be a part of it.

I still cannot believe this.

Something amazing and miraculous has happened to me here in Nepal. I am new. I have confidence, joy and love radiating from my heart to the top of my head down to the bottoms of my flip-flops.

Read the rest of the story here: Prophecy, Healing, Coffee, and Other Miracles

This is but one of many stories I get to be a part of, thanks the work I do for Adventures in Missions — thanks to you for joining me on the journey.

I appreciate you for reading, sharing, supporting, praying, and all the other ways you contribute to my work here.

Thank you.

"The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song." —Psalm 28:7

If you'd like to find out more about partnering with me in 2012, you can send me an email at jeffgoins@adventures.org.

*Photo credit: Stephanie May

Praying the Snowflake Prayer by Charles Whiston

Tue, 29 Nov 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Many of us need to be more honest about prayer. We need to tell the truth.

We're not very good at it.

We doubt and question its effectiveness, wondering if it does any good at all, all the while putting in little effort on our part.

As a result, many of us live lives devoid of the power of God's Spirit. Our faith becomes anemic, and our belief in God is little more than a formality or nicety.

I hope that I can be so bold as to say that many of us need to relearn how to pray.

My old pastor once gave me a prayer by Charles Whiston (which comes from his book Pray: a study of distinctively Christian praying) called the "Snowflake Prayer."

Apparently, Whiston would pray this pray every day for years. He believed that over time, this prayer would be like one snowflake falling upon another.

If you pray it once or twice, it wouldn't make much of a difference, but if you prayed it again and again, it could change your life (and the lives of others).

As snowflakes compact against each other on a mountainside, they grow in density and size. Ultimately, they form a glacial mass that can chip away at the roughest pieces of rock.

So it is with the snowflake prayer.

For some of you, this sounds like religion. More work. Legalism. It's not. Or at least, it doesn't have to be.

I believe in the power of persevering prayer, of continually bringing our needs to God and trusting him with them. And I believe God honors our persistence.

Is this not the point of the Parable of the Persistent Widow that Jesus tells in Luke 18 — that if we keep praying, God will answer?

So, I'm confessing that in my busyness and constant connectivity (to, well, everything), I'm not very good at prayer. I get bored. Or distracted. Or it just doesn't seem all that important in light of other priorities.

But today, I'm praying the snowflake prayer. Feel free to join me.

Here it is, in case you want to use it:

O Lord Jesus Christ:
In obedience
to your holy claim upon me,
I give myself anew to you this day;
All that I am, all that I have,
To be wholly and unconditionally
yours for your using.
Take me away from myself,
And use me up
As you will,
When you will,
Where you will,
With whom you will.
Amen.

The Pros and Cons of Being a Missionary

Fri, 18 Nov 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I'm what you call a stay-at-home missionary (just came up with that nifty title myself).

What that means is that althought I go out into the field maybe a handful times a year, my primary role involves administrative work. That is, recruiting, training, and sending out other people into the mission field.

In particular, I'm responsible for figuring out how to help people apply their short-term missions experience to the rest of their lives.

When I tell people what I do, sometimes they get the wrong idea. So, I think it's fair to say...

Being a missionary ain't always what it's cracked up to be.

Some days, it feels just like a job (because it is) — with its fair share of hassles and obligations. On those days, I tend to reflect on the negative, more challenging aspects of this kind of work.

The cons of being a missionary

1. You often have to raise support.
Unless you're Southern Baptist, in which case you get a free ride). This means some late nights, phone calls, emails, and basically a lot of time invested into building and maintaining a base of personal ministry supporters.

2. You don't usually make very much money
Or at least, you don't make as much as you could in the "real world," often doing the same thing.

3. Health insurance is optional.
A lot of organizations leave it up to the employee to provide their own health benefits.

4. You may not have control over where you live.
For instance, the Salvation Army is like the real Army in the sense that their missionaries don't have any say as to where they live, when they move, etc.

5. You constantly have to answer the question: "So what do you really do?"
And sometimes, from the skeptics: "So, when are you going to get a real job?" This is frustrating and sometimes embarrassing, because the truth is that you really do work.
6. People give you a hard time for having a TV.
You might also get hassled for doing stuff that normal people don't even think twice about, like buying a new car, going to the mall, or doing virtually anything that doesn't fit their idea of what a "missionary" looks like.

Yes, I've dealt with all of the above. However, most days, my job feels more like a dream — something I get to do, not have to do.

Being a missionary is worth it. I gladly put it in long days and extra hours, because this is something that I'm passionate about.

I often consider other crummy things I could've been stuck doing. And I thank God for the opportunity to use my gifts and answer a call to do something meaningful. There really are a lot of advantages to doing this work.

The pros of being a missionary

1. You get to travel.

Enough said. Traveling is awesome.

2. Money isn't the point of what you do.
This makes it very easy to stay focused on the work -- not as a means to an end (i.e. a paycheck), but the end itself. It's all passion.

3. You discover all kinds of interesting things about yourself and the world.
I think that more than in other cases, you get to introspect when you work in missions. (Check out Lindsey Watson's blog about funky things you discover while living in Africa.)

4. You are forced to depend on God more.

Whether it's financial support or some other means of dependence, your faith tends to grow.

5) You build new relationships and maintain them better, because you need supporters.

The bottom line is that you stay in touch with people who are paying your salary. At first, this felt weird to me, but now I'm extremely grateful for it.

6. You get invited to all kinds of events to speak.
Whether it's church services, university classes, or some other event, you are often asked to share about the exotic nature of your work.

7. You get a "get into heaven free" card.
Just kidding.

8. Work hours are flexible.
At least, for me they are.

9. Prayer is a part of work.
Spending 30 minutes in prayer with a colleague can be considered a completely legitimate form of work. And you have the freedom to bring your faith into professional conversations.

The truth is that my job is that: a job.

Don't get any ideas that being a missionary (even a stay-at-home one like me) is any less challenging or demanding than a regular 9-5 office job. My job is tough and can be stressful, but it is also incredibly fulfilling and rewarding.

At this point in my life, I can't think of anything better (other than marriage) to which I could be giving my time.

What do you think are some pros and cons of being a missionary? Leave a comment here.

If you'd like to join me in my ministry (which allows to live and tell more stories like this one), consider becoming a supporter. You can find more about that here.

We Need More Power in Short-Term Missions

Wed, 16 Nov 2011 00:00:00 GMT

We need more power in Christian short-term missions.

What I mean by that is this: we need less of us, and more of God the Holy Spirit. We need to stop thinking that we have all the answers for the developing world (or "third world" as we sometimes pejoratively say), and ask God.

We need to humble ourselves.

We need to seek the Lord's face.

We need more power.

Our modern approach to short-term missions has failed. In many cases, our well-intentioned efforts have sadly resulted in a flacid form of ministry. Which doesn't look anything like how Jesus acted.

We build a house, say a prayer, and feel good about ourselves until next summer.

Is this really Christianity?

I have nagging feeling that God wants more from us and for us.

God's kingdom isn't built on cleverly-devised business plans (however, he can use those if he wants).

It's built on the prayers of the saints and, often, the blood of martyrs. His rule and reign is established supernaturally when we choose to reject the ways of the world and depend more wholly on him.

This means that, for some of us, we need to change the way we think about and actually do missions.

In short, we need to take more risks on mission trips.

We need to be okay with surrednering some of our schedule for some Spirit-led ministry.

Because in the midst of risk, we find faith.

And in faith, God is most pleased and glorified. (Plus, really cool stuff tends to happen.)

What If You Met Jesus on the Street?

Mon, 14 Nov 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Here's a story from 2007 — one of my wife's favorites:

I was walking down the street, absorbing the smells of a new culture.

Mexico. I had read about it, seen pictures of it, and even tasted it in local restaurants.

But being here was something completely different — it was more joy and more sadness than I had expected.

I saw a man crouched in the corner of a building, hidden behind a three-foot-tall concrete wall. He watched the passersby but did not beg anything from them. He just sat there.

I asked the man if he would like some bread. He shouted something in Spanish back at me that I did not understand. His speech was slurred, and the words ran together.

I left the safety of my side of the wall, passing through the entrance to the small courtyard where the middle-aged man was sitting. His skin was tan, and his hair black and slicked-back. He wore jean shorts and no shoes. A loose shirt hung on his gangly frame.

I gave him a loaf of bread, which he eagerly began eating in front of me. When I inquired of his name, he said, "Jesus de Nazaret de la Cruz."

Como? I didn't quite catch that.

"Jesus de Nazaret de la Cruz," he reminded.

Ah yes, of course. Jesus of Nazareth of the Cross.

Crazy Catholic countries and their overly-religious-sounding names. This man was homeless, after all, and already seemed to be showing signs of mental illness. In my mind, I thought, "Suuuure, buddy."

Yet, when I looked into his eyes, I saw a familiar softness.

I was hungry, and you fed me.
I was thirsty, and you gave me drink.
I was a stranger, and you took me in.

Familiar Bible verses scrolled through my brain, but I was having trouble making practical sense of them. It was a nice idea, poetry even, but could it be literally true?

In college, as a religion major, I learned about the symbolism of the Bible and the importance of understanding the context of a story. What was the context here?

As you have done it to the least of these, you have done it to me.

I was resolved.

I smiled back at this man, who was, I decided, Jesus with skin on.

We conversed for I'm not sure how long. He sang a song for me about the Spirit of God living in him. I heard the words; I understood. And the Spirit inside of me sang back.

Jesus mentioned the Bible, and I brought out my Spanish New Testament.

He eyed it with the wonder of a child. Opening it with care, he picked out a familiar passage about Christ from one of the gospels and read it out loud and with pride.

He offered me some of his "water," which was clear and stung my nostrils when I smelled it.

I told him he didn't need that. He had streams of living water flowing inside him. He looked at me curiously, then set the bottled down.

After half an hour of chatting, I had to go. I told the man goodbye and prayed for him — my attempt at offering a blessing, all the while thanking God for blessing me through this non-begging beggar.

As I walked away, I caught a glance of Jesus picking the Bible up off the concrete and reading another passage. And all was well with my soul.

* * *

Post-script:

The Church has forgotten how to meet Jesus.

We have forgotten that he will join us on the streets, in the most broken of places, and where he is, there is liberty. Go find it.

Go find him.

He is waiting for you in unlikely places.

If you'd like to join me in my ministry (which allows to live and tell more stories like this one), consider becoming a supporter. You can find more about that here.

Churches, Transitions, & New Ministry Ventures

Wed, 9 Nov 2011 00:00:00 GMT

It's been an interesting new season, and I haven't shared with you much lately about what ministry, family, and life have been like.

Since making a lateral move at work and a slightly southward one geographically, this year has mostly been a season of change and adjustment.

At times, it's been fun, and others uncomfortable. Nonetheless, it's been an adventure — one in which I've had to rely more on God.

Not easy, but always good.

Leading Kingdom Dreams

Since my trip to Puerto Rico this summer, I've been leading a new team called Kingdom Dreams.

The goal of this new program at Adventures in Missions is to help people apply the impact of a short-term mission trip to the rest of their life.

My role is to oversee the team, cast vision, and help guide us into the future.

In a nutshell, we help people's ministry dreams come true. It's new and innovative and changing every day — I love it.

Support-raising

Life has been so busy that I've unfortunately neglected the discipline of support-raising in the past season. There are so many of you who have graciously given over the years, and I'm sorry we haven't kept in better touch.

I intend remedy that.

I'll be focusing on this aspect of my ministry in the next few months. If you're interested in hearing more about this, feel free to contact me via email. I'll be sharing more soon.

Epoch

For the first time ever, our organization held a missions gala the other week.

We called it Epoch, because it represented the unique moment in time in which we find ourselves. We celebrated; we honored; we worshiped.

Someone asked me why we went to the trouble of a black-tie event for missionaries.

These were people who spend their days in the mud. They do marvelous, thankless work every day. They don't put on a tuxedo very often.

If anyone deserved a nice evening, these unsung heroes did.

Haiti Orphanage

After 15 months of investigating an orphanage we partner with Haiti, we learned that they were trafficking children. After a week of online petitioning and social media advocacy, breakthrough happened.

There's still more work to be done, though; so please continue to pray and advocate on behalf of the at-risk children. You can sign our most recent petition here.

New Home, New Church

I think I've been saying this for awhile now, but this is another season of transition. Ashley and I understand a little of what the Israelites went through in the Exodus, I think.

We bought a house this summer and have been going to a new church in our new community (since the church where we were married disbanded earlier this year).

We're still unpacking boxes and adjusting to this new season. It's fun, though. We've started having regular "family" dinners; friends come over once a month for a potluck-type meal.

The other Wednesday, we had a group over to have Italian food and watch Modern Family. It was a blast. We cherish the times we get to do life with those we love.

All Is Grace

In all of this change and movement, I'm learning one simple, important lesson: all is grace. That's a line from a book I recently read, which resonated with my deeply.

I'm learning this lesson applies to most of our struggles:

What do we do when life doesn't turn out like we planned?
Where do we turn when we get hurt or disappointed?
How do we cope when the unexpected happens?

Count it — all of it — as grace.

What a beautiful, wonderful word: grace.

How sweet the sound.

By the way, if you'd like to support me and the work that I do at Adventures in Missions, you can make a tax-deductible gift here. I really appreciate it. If you have questions about this, feel free to contact me.

Help Stop Child Trafficking in Haiti

Mon, 17 Oct 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Hi friends. I need you to pray.

We just found out that an orphanage in Haiti that we were working with has been corrupted. They were not using the money we sent them, and there are reports of children disappearing.

We've suspected this for awhile, but now we're certain: The children are being neglected, many in dire need of medical assistance, and some are being trafficked.

There are reports of physical and sexual abuse, and if we don't act quickly, it doesn't look good.

The Whole Story

Here's more from our executive director Seth Barnes:

Backed by corrupt government officials, an orphanage we work with in Haiti has been trafficking its orphans.

Suspecting foul play, we’ve been investigating for the last year. We’ve not been ready to go to the media until we had the facts.

As a result, the orphanage director is now in jail, but the 75 children left in the orphanage are still in danger.

A worker said, “The kids are in terrible condition — the doctor gave them some prescriptions, but we doubt that the medicine will ever be administered to the children. Instead, the medicine will probably be sold.”

The Facts

Here's what we know for sure:

Food gets donated to the orphanage, but disappears quickly. Children remain malnourished.
Reports by the children of physical abuse by orphanage workers.
Reports by the children of sexual abuse by orphanage workers.
Clothing when donated, instead of going to orphans, gets sold.
Dozens of children have disappeared.

Get Involved

Here's how you can help:

Sign this petition and share it with others.
Tweet this post using hashtags #cnnfreedom #endslavery & #not_for_sale
Contact any local or national media you know, asking them to run the story. We are trying to get CNN to cover the story. Contact me for more details and documentation.
Blog about this and encourage your readers to sign the petition.
Pray. (I believe this changes things.)
"Like" this on Facebook and get your friends involved.

Every voice counts. We can make a difference. This is real.

A Snapshot of a Dreamer's Life

Wed, 21 Sep 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I am in a room of 40 people.

Dreamers. Visionaries. World-changers.

And I am blessed to be here.

Worship songs reverberate through the room. Praises are sung. Promises proclaimed.

This week, I'm participating in an event at our office called Searchlight.

We're helping illuminate the path for a generation -- guiding them in the next steps of their journey and calling.

We are encouraging and challenging them. Equipping them. Sending them out.

We get to launch dreams and speak truth.

It's a beautiful thing.

* * *

A Brief Update

For those who don't know, my role at AIM has changed in the past few months.

I'm now overseeing the Kingdom Dreams, which is a new department at our ministry. The focus is to help connect short-term missions to long-term opportunities.

When people go on life-changing, paradigm-shifting mission trips, they need to know how to apply what they've experienced. They need to know what's the next step.

We help with that.

If you'd like to support the work that I do, you can make a tax-deductible donation to my support account by clicking here.

How to Discover Your Passion

Thu, 25 Aug 2011 00:00:00 GMT

It's time to start dreaming again.
To live fully alive.
To be the person that God is calling you to be.

It's time to stop being afraid.
To love and be loved.
To be truly free from expectation.

Are you frustrated?
Is the cubicle killing you?
Do you feel like you're stuck in The Matrix, living according to someone else's rules?

Here's one simple way to discover your passion, to step into your life's work, and live your dream:

BEGIN.

If you are like most people I know and don't know your "dream," then you'll appreciate this eBook that I helped write with some coworkers: Discovering Your Passion.

It provides the basic roadmap for beginning, the hardest part about realizing your dream, in my opinion.

Once you start, that is, of course, just the beginning. You'll need to discipline yourself to finish. But I've found that there is incredible empowerment and momentum to the process of dreaming... once you begin.

So what're you waiting for?

Get started with your dream today by downloading the eBook (we're making it available to people who subscribe to our email newsletter -- which you can opt out of at any time, of course.)

>> Download the free eBook by clicking here <<

Memories from Ireland

Fri, 19 Aug 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Ashley and I just got back from vacation with her family in Ireland. It was awesome.

The Low-Down from the Motherland

Here's a quick recap in a series of snapshot memories:

Airplane food, in my opinion, is delicious. And I am, regrettably, alone in that opinion.
On-flight movies rule. But don't bother watching Hannah. It was lame.
Got separated from each other within minutes of getting our rental cars.
Turns out Ireland is slightly larger than the map would lead you to believe. We had some long driving days.
The Giant's Causeway was incredible -- truly a wonder of the natural world.
The land was so incredibly verdant and lush. I couldn't believe how green Ireland was.
It rained every day. That's why it's so green in Ireland.
I tried to kiss the Blarney Stone and missed. So I went back for a second try and succeeded. Come to think of it, most of my first kisses have been like this.
Never, ever, ever drive from Derry to Galway in one day (or night). In other news, we arrived at one hotel at 2am.
Bed and breakfasts rule. Especially in Ireland.
Irish courtesy puts Southern hospitality to shame.
The soup of the day is always vegetable soup. And vegetable = potato. Always.
Dingle is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen. Apparently, I'm not the only one who thinks so, because it was voted as such by National Geographic.
I never got tired of traditional Irish breakfast. There must put nicotine in their sausages.
I perfected my lilt and brogue.
Only in Ireland can you drive through a random town in the country and pull over multiple times to take pictures of castles. Okay, maybe you can do it elsewhere, but I've not been elsewhere. I've been to Ireland.
I did the unofficial "running tour" of Dublin. It's about two hours and includes random looks from bewildered Europeans. I saw the whole city on foot, including the alleged site where St. Patrick baptized the first Christians on the island. I also had time to pick up meat, cheese, and a loaf of bread for dinner.
A meat and cheese sandwich is the only acceptable breakfast at 5:00 in the morning.
Eating mass quantities of salted pork with cheese isn't the best way to prepare for an eight-hour flight.
Apparently, salami gives you canker sores... if you eat enough of it.
Given the choice between getting some much-needed sleep and taking advantage of free movies, I will always opt for an in-flight Bourne movie marathon every time. Every. Single. Time.
Losing a digital camera in a foreign country is never fun. But DHL is evidently useful overseas (where you at, FedEx?). We just got it delivered yesterday. Thank God.
If you stay at the Sheraton in St. Louis, do NOT attempt to walk to dinner. You will be walking for a very long time.
No joke, the day after we returned to Nashville, I met a friend for lunch at an Irish pub. I got the soup.

Have you ever been to Ireland? Or Europe?
Or Idaho? (They all have potatoes.)

Time to Change the World

Thu, 18 Aug 2011 00:00:00 GMT

The world is waiting.
Watching.
For you.

To step up.
Step out.
And begin.

The world is longing.
Crying.
For someone.

Anyone.

To speak out.
To listen.
To be.

It's trite and cliche and true.

But it's time to be the change
you want to see
in the world.

And here's one way to begin.

Your adventure starts this January.

Updates from My Recent Mission Trip to Puerto Rico

Mon, 25 Jul 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I went on a mission trip to Puerto Rico last week.

Here are some of the highlights:

The short of it was this: The Lord showed up. It rains every day during this season, and yet it never rained once while we were outside doing ministry.

The two groups from the States were inspired, encouraged, and challenged. Students worshiped and prayed like they had never before. I was spiritually rejuvenated myself.

The host church was a blessing. They showered us with love, encouragement, and friendship. Hands down, one of the best churches I've ever worked with, internationally.

I still have a few thoughts to post, so keep checking the blog this week to see what else God did in Puerto Rico.

Oh, and I definitely recommend that you visit some time. It's a beautiful island, full of great food, amazing historic sights, and gorgeous beaches.

Plus, God is doing some really neat stuff through the local church there, including raising up a generation of young people who are passionate about Christ.

Here's a Free Copy of My New eBook on Writing

Tue, 21 Jun 2011 00:00:00 GMT

People have been encouraging me to write an eBook for awhile now.

I finally did.

The Writer's Manifesto is a short, to-the-point call-to-arms for writers to return to the love of writing for writing's sake.

It begins with "The End" (so that you know where you're going) and works its way to the "Beginning" (so that you're challenged to start).

I wrote it for anyone who struggles with the tension of the creative process and the pressure to promote their work.

Here's an excerpt:

I’m a writer. I could say that I love to write.
But really, I like to be read.
A lot.

For too long, my fragile ego has depended on the affirmation of others.
I have tried in vain to please my audience (both real and imagined) and win them over.
This has plagued me for years.

So I’m giving up.

You can download it by clicking this link: Get a Free Copy of My New eBook: The Writer's Manifesto

If you like what you read, I'd love your help in getting the word out. I'm not charging for this; I just want to spread the idea that writers ought to be motivated by love of their craft.

Here's how you can help:

Encourage people to get the book by visiting this page.
Join the Facebook page to connect with other writers.
Start talking about it on Twitter, using the hashtag #writersmanifesto
Blog about it.

What're you waiting for?

Get the eBook for free now.

Advice to Your Younger Self - #DearCollegeMe

Mon, 20 Jun 2011 00:00:00 GMT

My youngest sister is starting college next semester. I am 10 years older than her. It made me realize how old I am.

After watching this video, I was inspired to write my own "Dear College Me" letter, summarizing what I've learned since I was in my sister's shoes nearly 10 years ago.

Dear College Me:

Well, not much to report here from the future, except that people still waste their time instant-messaging on the Internet, the 80s keep coming back into style, and music on the radio still sucks.

And sorry, no flying cars (yet) or anything else from Back to the Future 2. (Disappointing, right?)

But there are a few things to report on the personal front:

You finally broke down and got a cell phone. (Sellout.)
You got married. (Sucker.)
Life is not what you thought it would be. (Hallelujah.)

Let's talk about #3 -- here's some advice for you that I wish I had learned earlier:

"Chasing girls" is a misnomer. The paradox is that you often find the one you're looking for when you stop looking.
Keep playing guitar.
You will find yourself most contented when you think about yourself the least.
Travel sooner.
Not all commitments are bad.
The habits you form here will stick with you, in some form or another, for the rest of your life.
Don't spread yourself too thin.
Take a business class (trust me).
Let your hair grow out sooner; you'll get more chicks. (Really trust me on this one.)
You don't have God completely figured out, and you need him more than you think. Give every free moment you have to developing that relationship, and find more time to give to it..
Read for fun, even when you don't have time.
Restless is a season, not a lifestyle.
Stop being afraid of what other people think and trying to win their approval. Everyone you're scared of right now doesn't amount to much.
Write. For yourself. For others. Just write. (And don't ever settle for your first draft of anything.)
Buy some stock in Apple. Seriously.

So chew on that in between cramming for tests that you procrastinated studying for.

You're on a good track, but just realize that life isn't about you, that your voice will always crack like that, and that there is purpose to your life. The sooner you can find it, the sooner we can get on with changing the world.

Sincerely,
Your Older (and More Handsome) Self

What would you say to your younger self? Share your thoughts on Twitter and use the hashtag #dearcollegeme.

A Smattering of Updates & Ministry News for Summer 2011

Wed, 8 Jun 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Well, summer is here in Tennessee, and the cicadas are buzzing like I've never before heard. It's late morning, my dog is fast asleep on the couch, and I'm all out of coffee.

It seemed like an opportune time for a ministry update.

Everybody Loves Updates!

Here's what's new..

At AIM

Here's a quick update for those of you who are following along with my ministry and supporting the work I do with Adventures in Missions:

I am now working with Kingdom Dreams, which is a new department at AIM that helps people accomplish their ministry aspirations and fulfill their callings.
I just finished editing the first draft of a book for Seth Barnes about the importance of going on a "Kingdom Journey" -- it's chock full of amazing stories. I'm pretty excited about it. Stay tuned for more soon.
A couple of months ago, a colleague and I flew down to Orlando to visit several ministries and organizations, including: Pioneers, Wycliffe Bible Translators, RELEVANT Magazine, and others. We shared with them about Kingdom Dreams and how they could be involved.
I am working on a website that will teach organizations, individuals, and missionaries on how to tell their stories online. This will be hopefully a great resource for our mission trip participants, but we'll be making it available to anyone to use. More on that soon.
I'm leading a mission trip Puerto Rico next month with my friend Dustin. A couple weeks ago, we attended a training camp near Chattanooga.

At Home

A couple of "minor" personal updates:

Ashley and I are buying a house in Franklin, TN. We close in a week.
Lyric the Dog averages a couple of ticks per day. We're becoming experts at pulling them off.
My sister Marissa (who is becoming a pretty good writer) just graduated high school and is planning on attending University of Alabama at Birmingham in the fall. We gave her a George Foreman grill.
Ashley's parents just celebrated their 30th weddding anniversary. So far, we've only done 1/10th of that.
Ashley's photo business is doing well; she recently shot a wedding and did a family session.

In Other Areas

Here's the skinny on all other areas of my life:

I recently ran a half marathon. I finished 30 minutes sooner than I thought I would.
I've been blogging a lot on my new writing blog. I recently had the privilege of interviewing Steven Pressfield, one of my writing heroes. Oh, and Seth Godin commented on one of my posts (HUGE honor, even if he did disagree with me).
Recently, I guest posted on Michael Hyatt's blog and at Problogger.
I am, begrudgingly, downsizing my book collection before we move. I think I'd like to get a Kindle.
I'm going to Story in Chicago this Fall. A couple of people that I know through Twitter are paying my way! Who said social media was pointless?

Just for Fun

This is the most pathetic picture of Lyric I've taken (so far). He got his collar stuck while digging through our groceries, sniffing for something tasty.

How Short Term Mission Trips Grow and Change You

Wed, 25 May 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I just wrote a post on two reasons why you should go on a short-term mission trip.

The two reasons are:

Short term mission trips teach you to pray (and listen).
Short term mission trips expose you to God's kingdom.

When you step into a world of need in which spiritual things are much more present and evident than we sometimes care to admit in America, you are forced to depend on God in new ways.

On a mission trip, everything grows:

Your prayer life grows.
Your dependence on God grows.
Your compassion grows.
Your sensitivity grows.
Your questions grow.
Your passion grows.

And everything changes:

Your priorities change.
Your focus changes.
Your dreams change.
Your perspective changes.
Your attitude changes.
Your life changes.

How do short term mission trips grow and change you?

Missions Video for Twenty-Somethings: Watch & Share!

Thu, 28 Apr 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Do you ever feel like you're missing out on life?

You might be.

Today, we're releasing this missions video for the World Race that poses that very question.

What if there was more to life?

What if you already knew it and just didn't know what to do with this desire?

This excellent and inspiring video tells a familiar story about a young man who feels like something's missing but doesn't quite know what it is. (To paraphrase John Mayer.)

I hope you'll share it with friends, family, and strangers, if it resonates with you. (Watch it at the bottom of this screen -- or if you can't see it in your RSS feed or email, click here.)

The heart of our ministry is to raise up young revolutionaries of love intent on changing the world. A trip around the world is just the beginning of seeing that vision realized.

(The next step is to walk with them through seeing God's dreams come to life on earth, which is a project I've been involved with for the past several months, but that deserves another post.)

If you're 21-35 and looking for abundant life, this may be just the right opportunity for you -- consider applying for the World Race.

I love the questions that the video implicitly raises:

Is your life too small?
Have you discounted yourself for greatness?
Have you opted out of abundant life?

Maybe it's time for a new start.

Thoughts?

***

By the way, if you so feel led, I would love for you to help us get the word out about this today. You can share something like the following on Twitter or Facebook (or even re-post this onto your blog):

Does your life feel small? You are not alone: http://bit.ly/smallLife

And you can find out more about the World Race here.

Short Term Missions Are Not Enough

Mon, 25 Apr 2011 00:00:00 GMT

It's not enough to send someone on a short-term mission trip for a week and call that "service."

It's not enough to take your youth group to Mexico to build a house and then go back to doing life as if nothing ever happened.

It's not enough to expose people -- young and old -- to a radical new way of life and never follow up on the dramatic paradigm shift.

It's not enough to do short term missions.

It's not enough.

Short term missions are just the beginning. They are a (legitimate) means to an end, and the end is connection.

Transformation.

Life change.

If the means becomes the end (in anything), then it is not enough.

What do you think? Are short term missions enough?

AIM Celebrates 90,000 Missionaries Sent to the Field

Tue, 19 Apr 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I started working with AIM almost five years ago. I never thought I'd have the opportunity to be a part of something so radical, so world-changing. It's an honor.

AIM just celebrated sending its 90,000 short-term missionary into the field, which is amazing in and of itself. But really, it's only the beginning. We're excited about the next 90,000 and more to come.

Here's an excerpt from a newsletter we just sent out:

Whether you're on the front lines or holding down the fort, everything you do matters.

All you've done has led us to this point; thank you for helping advance God's kingdom.

Know that who AIM is and what we do extends the borders of his kingdom everywhere.

It's been a privilege changing the world with you.

90,000 is a big number.

If my math serves me correctly, that means that if we sent out one missionary per hour, 24 hours per day, 365 days per year, it would take over 10 years to send out that many people every.

That's a lot.

And if everyone who has ever gone out into the mission field with us has reached at least one other person (which is a gross under-estimate), that means that not only were 90,000 participants' lives changed, but so were the lives of 90,000 other people.

That's 90,000 souls in heaven.

90,000 stories of redemption to tell.

90,000 lives that have been touched by Christ.

Wow.

To celebrate this landmark with us, check out the following:

Seth Barnes's guest post on Jamie, the Very Worst Missionary's blog: Respectability is Overrated
Discounts for select short-term trips
On our AIM blog, Celebrating 90,000

Feel free to share this post with a friend (especially the discounts link!), and for those of you supporting my ministry in prayer and finances -- thank you. This celebration is one that I share with you.

Such a feat would not be possibly without your faithfulness.

Subscribe to My New Blog

Thu, 24 Mar 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I'm blogging a lot more regularly over at Goins, Writer.

I'll still be using this blog (Pilgrimage of the Heart) on occasion to do ministry updates, talk about missions, and share with you what's going on at AIM, but I'll be pouring most of my blogging time and energy into a new blog on writing (Goins, Writer).

If you're interested in writing, blogging, the creative process, or just want to stay up-to-date on my writing projects, you should subscribe to it.

Subscribe via email.
Subscribe vis RSS.
Subscribe via weekly email newsletter.

I also have some other additional subscription options that you can check out on the blog.

Here are some recent posts you may be interested in reading:

God Is a Dreamer

Thu, 17 Mar 2011 00:00:00 GMT

My role at AIM has changed a lot in the past two months (I'll share more about the specifics of that in another post).

In short, I've moved from the marketing team over to our innovation department to work on a new project called Kingdom Dreams, which is a new approach to helping people find their ministry calling. Here's a little bit about it:

Kingdom Dreams is the premier location to be inspired, equipped, and resourced to pursue one's God-given dreams and passions.

Kingdom Dreams is the catalyst for the next generation of Christians focused on changing the world. It offers people the space, freedom, guidance, and confidence to dream and experiment, through the channel of meaningful personal connections.

The basic premise is this: God loves dreams. And he loves to use his people to bring his will on earth. So, we want to find out what those dreams are, hidden in people's hearts, and bring them to fruition through connecting people, ideas, and opportunities.

On a technical level, we're offering coaching, curriculum, and community to anyone who has a dream (or a passion for dreaming).

We're only three weeks into this thing, and we're already seeing tremendous fruit.

Hundreds of dreamers and organizations have shown interest in being a part of Kingdom Dreams, and we're trying to keep up with how quickly God is moving through this initiative. And I want to invite you to be a part of it, as well.

A dream this big needs the help of the body of Christ.

Here are some ways to get involved:

1. Provide an opportunity: We want to provide our dreamers with a job, ministry, or volunteer opportunity that matches their passion. Let me know if you or your organization has an opportunity for passionate world changers.

2. Help us network: Many dreamers need to serve under someone else's dream while they mature and grow. Contact us if you can connect dreamers to a variety of opportunities

3. Become a coach: Dreamers need mentors and coaches. You have life experience and wisdom to share. Help walk someone down their unique path by becoming an advocate.

4. Spread the word: Do you believe in this vision of making God's dreams come true through connecting people with world-changing ideas? Share Kingdom Dreams with your friends, church, pastor, and other network by:

Reposting this post on your blog, or writing your own.
Talk about Kingdom Dreams on Twitter or post a link on Facebook. You can use the shortened URL http://bit.ly/kdreams. Here's an example that I just posted on Twitter (feel free to copy or retweet it):

5. Share your dream: Visit the Kingdom Dreams website, and tell us about your dream.

As always, I appreciate your encouragement, prayer, and financial support. You can find out more about how to support me (I raise financial support to be a part of this) here, and if you're not already subscribing to this blog, you can do so by email here.

Let's build something great together.

What's your dream? What would you need to make it happen now?

Theory U: Four Levels of Responding to Change

Tue, 15 Mar 2011 00:00:00 GMT

There are four levels of responding to change, according to "Theory U", which we learned about in our Youth Minstry Coaching Program.

Theory U is a theory developed by Otto Scharmer that addresses issues of innovation and how leadership responds to change.

The different levels are:

Reacting
Redesigning
Reframing
Regenerating

A lof the discussions regarding Theory U sound a little New Agey, which I'm not particularly fond of, but the theory itself also has practical leadership values. Here's some copy from the website:

Fundamental problems, as Einstein once noted, cannot be solved at the same level of thought that created them. Learning to pay attention to our attention and to illuminate the blind spot, according to Scharmer, is the key leverage point to bring forth the profound systemic changes in business, society and in science so needed now.

And here's what the process actually looks like:

The basic premise of the theory is that we need to work through the different levels of response to effect the most change.

The point is that you learn to move through the U, changing how you think about problems and challenges in the future.

As change is introduced to a system, we may move through all four levels, but what's important for leaders is to move towards the fourth level as quickly as possible.

How does your organization respond to change?

Four Stages of Missions Development

Mon, 7 Mar 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I attended a Perspectives course last night and learned a lot. One of the discussion points that the teacher shared was on the major eras of the modern missions movement. He also told us about the four stages of missions development, which I found very simple, but also compelling and a little convicting.

The four stages of missions development are:

1) Pioneer Stage: This when you make first contact with a people group that is otherwise unreached.

2) Paternal Stage (Parent Stage): In this stage, you engage that people group for first time, introduce them to the Gospel, and win people to Christ. Also in this stage, missionaries begin training indigenous leadership.

3) Partnership Stage: This stage moves you beyond the "parent-child" relationship (which is a terribly pejorative analogy, I know). In this stage, indigenous leaders begin working as equals with the missionaries who first brought them the Gospel. In prior stages, missionaries have been training the locals, but now both parties are working side-by-side of each other.

4) Participatory Stage: In this fourth and final stage of missions development, missionaries only participate in indigenous churches when they are invited. That is, they are no longer needed; the indigenous leadership has full and complete authority and sovereignty.

Now, here's the rub: The goal of all missions should be to get to the final stage as quickly as possible. In much of the missions movement that has come out of the West, we've unfortunately stayed way too long in the beginning stages (particularly Stage 1 and Stage 2).

This is not only unfortunate; it's a tragedy. We've propagated paternalism and dependency in unhealthy, codependent ways. What's interesting about this class that I attended last night was that many in the missions world are recognizing a shift away from the West as the dominant force in global missions. Since 2005, there are now more non-western, cross-cultural missionaries than western ones.

It's undeniable that something is changing with the world. And yet, we in the West still have a strategic part to play in fulfilling the Great Commission.

If we are to be successful, those of us who are called to personally participate in world missions must learn to do the following:

1) Model.
2) Equip.
3) Watch.
4) Leave.

Those are some pretty simple steps that I don't think I need to go into, but they are extremely relevant for all Christians and churches. As we make disciples, we need to remember that the end is not codependency, but rather empowerment.

The last step (i.e. leaving) is always the hardest. But we need to remember that it doesn't have to take years for each step or stage. In fact, in the most successful streams of modern church-planting, people are moving through each of these stages quite rapidly.

Again, I will reiterate: If we are to be successful disciples, missionaries, and church-planters, it is essential that we learn how to leave. It is just as important as the going in the first place.

Think about your ministry or mission work or even a local Bible study or discipeship relationship. What does "leaving" look like for you? How can you do so responsibly and in a way that empowers?

Launching a New Ministry that Helps People Accomplish their Dreams

Mon, 28 Feb 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Last week, we launched a new ministry initiative that I'm spending a lot of my time on.

It's called Kingdom Dreams, and the purpose is to help connect people to their dream, whether it be a business, ministry, or full-time mission work.

We also offer coaching and personal development along the way to help you through the process.

Here's a brief excerpt from our chief visioneer Seth about what Kingdom Dreams is:

Too many of us have let our dreams lie fallow and unattended for too long. It's time to pick them up and give them the care that they deserve.

We all need dream advocates, and young adults, especially, need to be initiated in to a lifestyle that reflects the kingdom of God by first watching someone else live that way.

Whether you need another person to help you think through next steps or you're an aspiring entrepreneur who has been researching where to start, Kingdom Dreams is a network of resources, from life coaches to business coaches to enterprise funding, that can help you.

Together we're committed to the proposition that people's dreams are of great value - they need to be treasured and worked on.

He also shares a story of a potential "dreamer" in this blog post that you may be able to relate to:

Ryan Bodine spent a month at an orphanage in Haiti with AIM. Later, he led a missions trip to Brazil on his own. Neil, who works for our new initiative, Kingdom Dreams, called him a week ago and asked how he was doing.

"I'm working at my dad's factory, just kind of going through the motions," he said. "I want to start an orphanage but I don't know where or how I'm going to do it. I don't like my job. I feel stuck."

The idea behind Kingdom Dreams is that God has given everyone a dream and that most people need some help in bringing dreams to life.

We initially created it to meet a need that we had -- participants who went on the World Racers were coming back with lofty vision and little practical outlet -- but we're realizing that this is an opportunity that resonates with a lot of people.

So, we want to partner with other individuals and ministries who have a dream, want to coach a dreamer, or have an opportunity to make a dream become reality.

If you're interested in being a part of it, check out the website. We'd love your help in getting the word out.

Why Do We Cheer for the Hero?

Fri, 25 Feb 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I was watching a movie earlier this week and wondered, "Why do we love heroes so much? What is it about their courage and bravery in the face of impossible circumstances that causes us to cheer for the hero?"

That led me to write this -- a list of characteristics of heroes (there are seven of them). Here they are:

Heroes are unexpected.
Heroes are unknown.
Heroes are ordinary.
Heroes become heroes through adversity.
Heroes show up at the 11th hour.
Heroes push through fear.
Heroes fight for others.

You can read more here: How to Be a Hero: 7 Characteristics

What do you think? Why do we cheer for the hero?

Finding Balance in Marriage and Ministry (From Someone Who Stinks at It)

Wed, 23 Feb 2011 00:00:00 GMT

A newlywed friend Facebooked my the other day, asking for some advice from the husband's perspective on how to balance married life with work, ministry, and your own personal growth.

I told him that I stink at balance, but for whatever it might be worth, here's what I'm learning in my fourth year of marriage (I use the term "wife", because he's a man, but you could easily substitute "spouse" there as well):

Someone (or something) eventually gets cheated. Sometimes you have competing priorities between work and home, and that means you have to let someone down. Make sure that your wife isn't the one who consistently loses. Cheating ministry can be hard. But for me it has been often the best way to go, because when my marriage isn't good, everything else just doesn't feel right.
You can't do it all. Try to pick and choose what matters most. There are a few priorities I have in my life (including God, family, work, and fitness), and I try to order my day around those, making sure that I do the higher ones before the lower ones. Sometimes, this means that I don't always get to go for a run or read a book, but at least I've touched all the major bases.
Fill each other's buckets. It took me a few years to realize that what fills Ashley up emotionally isn't what fills me up. Never assume you know what your spouse needs (especially not at first). Ask questions. Communicate. Study her. Eventually, you'll "just know" certain things (hopefully), but it takes time (a lot of time for most guys) to learn.
Distinguish between daily marital disciplines and what's "special." This is a marathon, so acknowledge the importance of daily discipline, along with the occasional sprint. There is stuff that I just need to do every day in order to have a healthy marriage. These actions matter more to my wife than the occasional date night, but doing something really special every once in awhile is also essential.

For the longest time, I would neglect the daily discipline of showing affection towards her in small ways and try to "make up for it" with a really big gesture once every month or so. Big mistake. If I don't do both of these things (and know the difference between the two), our marriage will suffer.
Acknowledge the season you're in. Some seasons require more hours at the "office" than others. If you're in an intense season of ministry (we all have those), communicate with your wife and and make sure that she understands what you need from her and what your work needs from you. Be sure to balance this season of busyness with a season of rest right after it.
Make time for unproductive moments together. This is simple but often overlooked by us Type-A personalities. We want to get stuff done, but our spouse isn't a project. It means the world to my wife when I turn off my computer at night, sit on the couch, and put my arm around her, totally content to "waste" an hour cuddling wit her, watching TV. Giving your undivided attention (even for a brief moment) on a daily basis can make a huge difference.
Above all else, honor each other. When your wife isn't honoring you, honor her anyway, trusting that obedience doesn't return void.

I've seen several marriages ripped apart lately, and the culprit, it seems, is ministry. Those of us in this vocation need to be very careful. In my opinion and limited experience, all this stuff is less about having the "right plan" and more about just being available to the one you love and creating experiences that allow you to grow together, not apart.

If you're a newlywed, good luck and God's blessings on you. As you celebrate each year together, look around and see who's still in this thing. As you continue to push forward, I think you'll find that your story is less and less of the norm. Take pride in that, and give your marriage the effort it deserves to keep going.

The Gift of Being Yourself

Wed, 16 Feb 2011 00:00:00 GMT

I was at church the other day. Visiting a friend's church, I should say. During the whole worship service there was something welling up inside of me. Something strong. Something emotional. Something dangerous, I thought.

And I held it (whatever it was) in. I suppressed deep, powerful emotion, because that's what I thought I needed to be doing. In church.

And then after the service we ran into some friends from our old church. And we remembered Al. And we cried. Right there in the lobby, in front of everybody. Two grown, tenderhearted men, weeping for a fallen friend. But not just for our friend who passed away last year. But also for our community, our friendships that are changing, our lives that are being affected by moving on since our church disbanded a month ago.

It was a good kind of grief. A sweet time of letting go and acknowledging, "Yes, this was special. And yes, we will miss it. Because it meant something dear to us."

So, we cried. And we hugged. In the middle of a lobby in a church to which we did not belong.

And you know what? It was okay. No one looked at us with contempt (as far as I know). Nobody scorned or shunned us. It was okay.

Today, I would like to give you permission: to grieve loss, to feel pain, to laugh and to cry. To be ridiculous, if necessary. To feel whatever it is you need to feel. To let go. To not do only "what you're supposed to do." But to live.

This is the gift you can give yourself today. The gift of being comfortable in your own skin. The gift of being yourself.

I don't know if that sounds too Stuart Smalley to you, but I needed to know that truth on Sunday: It's okay to be yourself. It's okay to embrace who you are and how you were made. It's okay to be vulnerable and open, to lay your emotions out for all to see.

When you do this, you are being generous. You are passing on this gift of you to others. And no one else can do that but you.

So, be yourself today. And then go give that gift to the world.

Let me know how it goes.

(If you liked this post, check out my writing blog, where I am blogging more regularly now.)

The Real Story Behind Valentine's Day

Mon, 14 Feb 2011 00:00:00 GMT

Today, millions of people will be celebrating Valentine's Day (or, as some have referred to it, "Single Awareness Day"). Many may not realize that this holiday has some of its roots in Christianity and, quite possibly, martyrdom. Here's what I could find about it.

From Wikipedia:

The Valentines honored on February 14 are Valentine of Rome (Valentinus presb. m. Romae) and Valentine of Terni (Valentinus ep. Interamnensis m. Romae).Valentine of Romewas a priest in Rome who was martyred about AD 269 and was buried on the Via Flaminia. His relics are at the Church of Saint Praxed in Rome, and at Whitefriar Street Carmelite Church in Dublin, Ireland.

Valentine of Terni became bishop of Interamna (modern Terni) about AD 197 and is said to have been martyred during the persecution under Emperor Aurelian. He is also buried on the Via Flaminia, but in a different location than Valentine of Rome. His relics are at the Basilica of Saint Valentine in Terni (Basilica di San Valentino).

The Catholic Encyclopedia also speaks of a third saint named Valentine who was mentioned in early martyrologies under date of February 14. He was martyred in Africa with a number of companions, but nothing more is known about him.

No romantic elements are present in the original early medieval biographies of either of these martyrs. By the time a Saint Valentine became linked to romance in the 14th century, distinctions between Valentine of Rome and Valentine of Terni were utterly lost. ("Valentine's Day")

From History.com:

One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men — his crop of potential soldiers. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine's actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death.

Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons where they were often beaten and tortured.

According to one legend, Valentine actually sent the first "valentine" greeting himself. While in prison, it is believed that Valentine fell in love with a young girl — who may have been his jailor's daughter — who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter, which he signed "From your Valentine," an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories certainly emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic, and, most importantly, romantic figure. ("Valentine's Day")

If any of the above stories are true, then maybe Valentine's Day should be more than a day in which we exchange candy. Maybe it should be a day of remembering the oppressed and wrongfully imprisoned around the world.

What would today look like if you focused on loving those whose story isn't being heart -- the persecuted and trafficked?

To find out how you can do just that, read: Free Valentine